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The dementia journey...Part 1

Dementia Healing

There are many reasons why people experience dementia. I know that when my mom exhibited the first signs of dementia...you know asking the same question over and over again...everyone in the ohana were surprised and didn't know what to do. That was back in 2015ish...as time went on and she became more confused, depressed and anxious we knew we had to figure something out. Tracing back through my mom's life I uncovered many things that were eye opening and in many ways explained why she was experiencing dementia. My heart filled with compassion and empathy as I unraveled my mom's journey. 

Her friends shared stories with me about her childhood. She suffered physical and emotional abuse which led her on a path of unfortunate events early in her life. She moved to Hawaii as soon as she graduated and ended up living with a family and had a relationship with the young son in the household. The picture here is my mother and my brother. She was 21 years old. That relationship did not last and my mom was raising my brother primarily by herself. She married a man that was abusive and created an environment that was very unstable for her and my brother. 


She was strong enough to get out of that relationship and move back to California with my brother. According to one of her best friends, she had broken ribs when she moved back to San Diego. The scars may not have been visible, but, the damage had certainly been done to both her and my brother. My brother had behavioral issues and as a result my mother made the choice to put him into the foster care system. I guess that back in the 70's the process must've been different because she didn't have any connection with my brother after he went into the system. 


I would say at this point in time, my mother had experienced a good deal of trauma making it  difficult for her to cope with life's stress. She must've created a perspective that may not have been the most empowering. She and my father had a lot in common so when she met him it may have seemed natural to co-exist. They had my sister and a couple years later I was born.

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